iv got quite a lot to tell you- soo, last week i went to barcelona with a school trip,which was good, but at the same time i hated it cos im not liking my group etc. so first day there, me and my friend met a man that works in a bikeshop-now walking past his shop, i couldnt beleive how goodlooking he was,so i kinda checked him out! and anyway, we ended hiring bikes and he took my number so that he could show us some clubs (btw, hes 27yrs old). anyway, we couldnt meet first night, but on the second, most of my year went and got drunk on coctails,-same with me, but my best friend was all loved up with her boyfriend,-which kinda depresses me that i havent got that,-so i rang the hot bokeshop man up-by this time, i was soooo drunk any way one thing led to another and we ended up in his bikeshop, where i was soooooo gone-and i lost my virginity. now i know this sounds soo bad, the man sounds like a rapist, but it wasnt. looking back i feel no regrets, maybe the first time, but it hurt so much i wouldnt even count it as something. this guy is really nice, fascinating-typical man, gone travelling, got a degree+masters, gorgeous, perfect, but that really embarrassed me cos before there was any connection, i acted myself around him, but since i got drunk no way could i even look him in the eye-i was on my fucking period,blood everywhere (sorry,gross!) the worst possible state to beseen in.
so second night was the same as the first,-only this time we went back to his apartment had sex all night and went back in the morning- but the thing is, i think the only connection we had was a sexual one. it just felt right and iv never had that before with non of my boyfriends.-iv had quite a few, but have never wanted to sleep with anyone, but this man was the onyl man iv ever wanted to sleep with-i felt soo at ease and comforable around him. was wierd, so anyway, i couldnt see him again,i had to go, but he sent me his email address, and iv just sent him an email. he sent me lots of nice msgs too.
but now, im really feeling an emotional detachment. i gave this man something special of mine and i know it would never of worked out- i knew that when i was with him, but i now can stop thinkng about the whole thing now im home. it really is a horrible feeling.
i duno why i wrote this, i just needed to tell someone-get advice, please. i know it sounds really bad., its not, i dont regret it at all. was perfect.
im now waiting for an email back from him-thts horrible as well.
watd u do? -go back to barcelona?!! ijust feel like i need to see him?!