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[10 May 2006|05:18pm]

hey peops, i need your help relating to my boyfriend.... heres the thing, iv been going out with him for nearly 5months, and its good but i just feel like theres something missing and i cant work out what it is. iv also lost interest in having sex- i duno ib never found it that great. but back to us two, our social skills are terrible- or his, he doesnt really talk unless he has something good to say- hes more reserved as a person- thinks alot. but isometimes its really tiring- i think can i be bothered. i duno what im trying to say butmainly that i feel somethins missing. what do u do?? or that im not good in front of other eople, feel they are always watching and looking at what we're like together and that makes me reallly nervous- how do u cope with that? sometimes i just feel are we meant to be together or that our relationship is more lke a brother sister one-sounds v wierd.- its not!
oh, i duno, bit then on the other hand, we're soo right for eachother- i feel like we just fit together- he knowsme soo well, and is soo comfortable around me. i duno whatl happen...any advice would be much appreciated!
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my bf [24 Apr 2006|12:37am]

another thing thats getting to me is my boyfriend. we'v ben quite serioud from the start and its somthing soo different to my other past boyfriends. let me explain.- hes soo different from who i would normally go out with- got opposit personalities but then are quite similar underneath, but yeh we want completely different things, and sometimes ithink- gee does this boy really love me? we dont have much to talk about n the phone- hes not a chatty person, we argue-in a good, and we dont really click. he lost his virginity to me- whereas i didnt- simething he hates the idea of...fair enough. we'v been bf gf since feb. he told me he loved me after about 2months- was nice, but i just think, or worry- does he really? or is he just saying that cos he doesnt have anything to compare it with. and also,- is it cos he doesnt wana lose me or something.- that sounds bigheaded, dont mean it to. but cos im like his first serious gf, i really worry that he'l meet someone else at uni and be like- why the fuck did i waste my time with her kinda thing.... it scares me sooo much, cos heres the twisted thing- after saying all of that, wondering whether we're right for eachother, its like i cant live without him- i miss him when hes not there, i think about him. i have a hge grin when i talk about him. its really wierd. was just wondering whats going on in my head- do any of u ever feel the same? i think deep down im really worried that il lose him. its like im always waiting for something to go wrong. arh, why do i feel like this?
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And It's All That I Want...<3 [24 Dec 2005|08:51am]

[ mood | happy ]

I want a guy who will be absolutly crazy about me. who will tell me how he admires me. a guy who will hold me tight when im upset. a guy who will show me off to his friends, and want to hang out with just me. i want a guy who won't lie or cheat.. that will be honest with me all the time, and not be afraid to talk to me about anything. i want him to play with my hair, pick me up, wrestle with me, tickle me, just have fun with me. i want a guy that will Make Me Laugh even if it makes him look like a total dork. i don't want him to care. i want him to be himself at all times. i don't want a guy who trys to be cool. i want a guy who will tell me stupid jokes, and that will have deep convorsations with me. i want him to say stupid cute cheezy things to me, just to make me smile. i want him to give me flowers.. and go out of his way for me, and he has to know that i would go out of my way for him. i want him to trust me.. and to grab my hand at random moments, and kiss me.. and not care who sees. i want him to kiss me when we're walking down the street in the rain. i want him to believe in ♥US♥..i want to watch movies with him on the couch.. i want him to let me fall asleep in his arms. i want him to sing to me, no matter how awful he is. i want him to give me piggy back rides, and push me on swings.. tell me i look beautiful..-and mean it-.. i want him to call me all the time, even if its just to say hi or that he's thinking of me. i want him to sit on the phone with me when im sad, even if it's dead silence. i want him to laugh with me about awkward moments. i want him to look into my eyes.. and just smile. i want him to kiss me on my forehead.. and just want to be with me. ♥when he falls in love with me, i want him to tell me.♥

I dont know if this meant anything to anyone, or if it was just something to read. but being girls i bet that you can ALL relate to that kinda feeling. I'm sick of these fake loves... and thats what I want in a real love.

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omg the emtional detachment [14 Nov 2005|10:48am]

iv got quite a lot to tell you- soo, last week i went to barcelona with a school trip,which was good, but at the same time i hated it cos im not liking my group etc. so first day there, me and my friend met a man that works in a bikeshop-now walking past his shop, i couldnt beleive how goodlooking he was,so i kinda checked him out! and anyway, we ended hiring bikes and he took my number so that he could show us some clubs (btw, hes 27yrs old). anyway, we couldnt meet first night, but on the second, most of my year went and got drunk on coctails,-same with me, but my best friend was all loved up with her boyfriend,-which kinda depresses me that i havent got that,-so i rang the hot bokeshop man up-by this time, i was soooo drunk any way one thing led to another and we ended up in his bikeshop, where i was soooooo gone-and i lost my virginity. now i know this sounds soo bad, the man sounds like a rapist, but it wasnt. looking back i feel no regrets, maybe the first time, but it hurt so much i wouldnt even count it as something. this guy is really nice, fascinating-typical man, gone travelling, got a degree+masters, gorgeous, perfect, but that really embarrassed me cos before there was any connection, i acted myself around him, but since i got drunk no way could i even look him in the eye-i was on my fucking period,blood everywhere (sorry,gross!) the worst possible state to beseen in.
so second night was the same as the first,-only this time we went back to his apartment had sex all night and went back in the morning- but the thing is, i think the only connection we had was a sexual one. it just felt right and iv never had that before with non of my boyfriends.-iv had quite a few, but have never wanted to sleep with anyone, but this man was the onyl man iv ever wanted to sleep with-i felt soo at ease and comforable around him. was wierd, so anyway, i couldnt see him again,i had to go, but he sent me his email address, and iv just sent him an email. he sent me lots of nice msgs too.
but now, im really feeling an emotional detachment. i gave this man something special of mine and i know it would never of worked out- i knew that when i was with him, but i now can stop thinkng about the whole thing now im home. it really is a horrible feeling.
i duno why i wrote this, i just needed to tell someone-get advice, please. i know it sounds really bad., its not, i dont regret it at all. was perfect.
im now waiting for an email back from him-thts horrible as well.
watd u do? -go back to barcelona?!! ijust feel like i need to see him?!
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he didnt reply [24 Oct 2005|09:32am]

[ mood | confused ]

(following my last post)he didnt text me back.... he came over friday morn, we kissed for the first time etc, then i tx him..waited for hours then dumbly tx him back saying that i really liked him again and the f***ER hasnt tx me back. man im soo hurt. i dont know what to feel. i wana delete his number, whatd u do? how can anyone be that harsh??its jst not possible. oh i wana cry

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please help..... [21 Oct 2005|02:04pm]

oh, god what a mess. i really need your help-guy related. il try keep it as short as poss. so heres the thing, iv kinda liked this posh guy at my work-hes really rich and im quite arty-so we're opposits. anyway we'v always had a connection-flirty thing, but we'v never acted on it cos he had a girlfriend and wasnt sure about his feelings even though he said hes never looked at another girl the way he looked at me. so anyways, he broke up with his girlfriend-she brought her ex along for her bday meal or something, so he was like,hm thats not right and asked if we wanted to meet up- which we did today for a few hours. now before this,id been ut the night before and was soo hungover and smelly and felt all dirty etc, but one thing led to another and we started kissing etc,-was nice. but heres the thing, i sent him a msg after he left saying that it was really nice etc, but he hasnt tx me back and i feel like dying! i realllly like him, its soo not fair.
what im worried about is that he just came over to see which girl he perfers me or his ex girlfriend, which i know is soo nasty but how can i be sure that its over between them when she txes him all the time saying she cant stop crying.
oh bloody hell, im soo down, before this iv been guy free for ages-no worries etc, and now i cant stop thinking about him again. i think i may of put him off-cos i was hungover and dirty,also told him about a stupid boy i kissed when drunk lastnight-i totally regret it. please offerme what u girls and guys think. i really need it.
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really need help [19 Oct 2005|09:19pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

So this is the deal I don't know what's going on but what I do know is Will and me are fallen apart i don't know how he's feeling but I know mine is coming from the fact I haven't talk to him in 2 weeks and he acts like it's such a big deal for him to come home one day so we can talk and i'm tried of it i've been through so much with him i've took him back for things that most girl wouldn't even give a second thought too I put up with so much and I don't ask for much just for him to take my feelings in to consideration and does he No! I don't know if he's doing it on purpose but he's not trying and if he doesn't care about my feelings than I need to right? I can't do it anymore it hurts such much i've tried to be strong and forgiving and understanding but dammit i'm tried of it. So he tells me he wants to be with me forever, he wants me as his wife, wants to rise a family with me. But if this is what I have to go throw to be with him i mean is it really worth it my heart keeps telling me to hold in there but sometimes when u follow your heart u still end up heart broken. I mean what do I do it's not that I don't love him because I do with all my heart but I can't hold a relationship together for 2 people by myself I don't know what i'm going to do I really need advice

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First Entry [01 Aug 2005|10:44am]

[ mood | contemplative ]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this community so instead of jumping right into to complaining about my boy I'll introduce my self. If you havent figured it out yet by my username, my name is Erin. I'm 15 and from warrenton, oregon. I have long brown hair, with highlights and brown eyes. I'm 5'1.

Okay now that we're done with that... on to the boy toy problemo's. Okay so theres this guy, I really dont know what we are... we did have a "fling" but then we were guna wait till he got home (he was in kentucky visiting his mom) we were guna wait until he got back here to actually date. So when he did he asked me out. even though we only hung out like once or twice we were really really close. Thats why we decided to go out. But then it was too awkward so we broke up. With the idea that we were going to go back out as soon as we hung out. Well even though we havent hung out yet we still talk everyday. But when we do talk he rubs other girls in my face and just isnt nice anymore and not how he used to be. So i asked him why and well this was our conversation:

Me: Okay, so whats wrong? you dont seem like yourself anymore
Jake: I know, thats because I'm not myself with out someone
Me: Someone to do what?
Jake: be with.
Me: you had that... you dumped me remember
Jake: yeah but i just...idk i just need someone
Me: who do you need?
Jake: a girl

okay so what do you think he means by that? is he trying to hint that he still wants to be with me? Because then the next day he apologized for always being an ass. But then continued to be an ass.. What do you think he means? I NEED HELP PLEASE!!

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[06 Jul 2005|09:49pm]

i know i shouldnt really ssay what im about to say when you all have girlfriends or boyfriends, buti dont know why but i think sex is such an anti climax, i think its really dirty. am i really wrong to feel like this? like, i never want to go further with a guy than the stuf before sex, im kinda worried il be like this forever.
also, does anyone else find that they are always looking for someone better to come along?? thats a really bbig weakness for me, i hate it,
any comments would be appreciated. thanks
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[02 Jul 2005|09:04pm]

hey can u people help me please...
iv liked this guy for nearly a year and the fact that i cant be with him hurts-he looks like brandon flowers!!anyway, one night i confessed my love for him, then met up for a day-which i found i didnt have anything in common with-we are soooo different so after this i thought that that should have put me off, but then we had exams and he told me he wanted to concentrate on them and that all this had started at a bad time for him blah blah, so that was that and i felt really rejected-even though i had the doubts!
but he works with me and i cant stop thinking about him, its painful cos even though we dont have anything in common,in fact i think he dont even live me vice verser, i just relly really want him sooo much- is that wrong? i dont know what to do cos its driving me insane and im so down cos of it. im in total love with someone who dont love me back. or is it all just atraction, iv never felt this strongly about someone-like love at first sight and id love for it to have a hapy ending but it just really hurts.
so i was just wondering what youd do in my shoes- try harder with him? forget about him (dont know if poss)
id really appreciate some ideas..........
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over... for sure, this time. [09 Jun 2005|09:54pm]

My boyfriend of one year broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago. He broke up with me becos I had a panic attack. And would you like to know when he broke up with me? DURING the panic attack. He's known about my panic disorder the whole time we've been dating and he's seen me through maybe 2 or 3 panic attacks before. Granted, this one was a little more scary, this I can honestly say, but during?! Needless to say, he made the attack 10x worse.

And it gets better!

That nite of the attack/break-up, was the nite before I was supposed to leave for Connecticut to visit with family. My now-ex was my one and only ride. It was too last minute for me to find another ride to the airport (I tried) so, my trip was cancelled. I was left all alone for two weeks, right after a serious break up.

I can't remember the last time I cried so much day after day after following day, etc.

I tried to play nice & neutral with him. I left him a 3-sentence note under the windshield wiper of his car while he was at work on Monday that just said, "Just wanted to say hello. Passing by on my way home from the library. Take care and maybe I'll talk to you sometime." Then, the stupid side of me kicked in and called him to see how busy was and he answered and offered to come outside and say hi to me, shortly.

He came outside and that was the first time we'd seen each other in over a week. He asked how I was. I said, "I don't like that question." He told me that he's, "Good, great," and I don't remember what else was said (not much, I know that) and he hugged me. And then he kissed me. Twice.

I didn't find out until last nite why he kissed me. He didn't answer the question in the first email, but he did in the second one. His answer? "Out of habit."

What a punch in the stomach that was.

He says he wants no contact with me at all: no phone calls, no email, nothing. It still hurts, but it gets a little less each day. Still, it's a lot of pain that I carry around and I know it'll be awhile before I get better. Knowing that he's going out to bars, drinking with his buddies, dancing with random girls, makes me sick to my stomach. I know some of you might be thinking, "Why aren't YOU getting out there and having fun?!" Well, the answer is simple: I have no local friends and I have no money. I could go to the city for the weekend or something, but I need the money for the gas to get up there & get back. I'm flat broke and actually borrowing money from people, which I've never done before and I never wanted to be that kind of person.

I really hit rock bottom.

But writing about it helps... a little.
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songs for the broken-hearted [31 May 2005|10:09pm]

any suggestions?
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Blah-di-dah [23 May 2005|12:22am]

[ mood | blah ]

  • Questions for all the hetero men:
    What was your first relationship like? How old were you? How did you handle the new experiences, getting to know a girl's body, etc? Were you giggly, eager, horny, shy, aggressive, clueless? Suppose this was someone you really liked, but she was more experienced than you. Knowing you were new to everything sexual, she opened herself up to you and said you could do and try anything you wanted with her. Would you jump at the chance? What would you do first? Would those thoughts or urges come instinctively? What would your instinctive reaction be if a girl took her shirt off in front of you? If she offered you a blowjob?

  • Questions for all the hetero women:
    Is a man worth the effort of investment if he doesn't seem to show any passion? Suppose he likes you, but seems to take a prepubescent attitude toward the relationship as if love was merely holding hands, kissing, and frolicking happily. What would you do if the man you were dating didn't seem to 'want' you in that girlfriend way? What if you did, said, and suggested everything possible, but he still held back physically even if you all but threw yourself at him? Would you stick around and muster the patience to teach him, even if he didn't seem to want to learn?

  • Questions for both sexes:
    Is passion necessary for a successful relationship? I'm not talking unbridled passion, but being passionate about loving someone, or wanting someone, or wanting ANYTHING. Where does one draw the line where a relationship is more than just clicking well, or being on the same wavelength? What do you expect when you date someone, that you usually require in order for the relationship to work?
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    I think he tried to piss me off - I think it worked [03 May 2005|01:55am]

    May 11th is supposed to make a year for my boyfriend & I. But for the last month or so, I just feel less & less for him. We haven't been intimate in a few months because I just can't stand the idea of it. I cringe at the thought of getting physical with him. Maybe it's not just him, but he's the only person I thought about in that respect. I find myself wanting more and all the little things are becoming BIGGER things. My past boyfriends weren't fabulous and I didn't date them for as long as this current relationship, but I miss being able to have real conversations - not small talk. I miss learning things from my significant other. It's good to have differences with someone you date, but it's starting to feel like D and I have barely a THING in common anymore. We don't go out anymore: this weekend he went out with his friends each nite and I met up with an old friend of mine one nite. Very rarely do we do anything together as a group; it's starting to feel like he just doesn't want me around.

    Yes, I have tried to tell him these things recently. He just brushes them off and assumes that I'm going through another downward mood swing. "Oh, you've said that before," he says, because in the past, we spent some "time apart" because of my feelings. Now, if I feel that way again, to him it just means I'm being moody. He just refuses to understand.

    In a boyfriend, I need a supporter. I feel like D is holding me back, keeping me from accomplishing... ANYTHING! Is this a typical rough patch that most relationships go through as they are about to hit a year or so, or is this looking like the end?
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    I think the problem is solved [16 Apr 2005|04:26pm]

    After talking to my mom and telling her about the situation with my boyfriend being upset about our one year date happening while a friend of mine was going to be here to visit me, I've decided to not even talk about it to my friend. Just as guys say, "Bros before hos," or whatever, friends come first. I told my boyfriend that I don't and won't leave my friend alone in a town she does not know while he & I go out to dinner or whatever else.

    My boyfriend actually took it well. Probably becos he saw it coming, as he should have!

    I told him that on our actual one year, we would meet up and exchange cards and a letter, reflecting on this past year together. I suggested that we give each other one small, tiny gift. He said he'd rather exchange "homemade" gifts on the 11th, so that is what we're doing. Also, on the 11th, I said we could each write at least 3 or 4 ideas of what to do on our "celebration day" on index cards and hand those to each other, also. After I told him all my ideas, he seems more excited about it.

    Getting him a card & writing him a letter will be easy. So far, for places to go/things to do together, I can only think of:
    air hockey

    and I'm not sure what to "make" him for a present.

    Any suggestions?
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    This is sort of boy trouble... [16 Apr 2005|02:57am]

    [ mood | what do I do?! ]

    A friend of mine is making arrangements to come down to Florida to visit me for a week. She has been looking forward to this for SO long and is getting creasingly anxious as the dates nears. Her visit time will be May 8 - 14.

    When my boyfriend & I realized that she would be here during our one month (may 11), he got a bit upset when I told that we couldn't spend the entire day together. I have a guest! I definitely want to spend some quality time with him on the 11th, go out for lunch or a walk on the beach, but I can't leave my friend stranded.

    Here are some things to consider with my friend's visit:

    1. She has never been here, thus
    2. she does not know her way around
    3. I (and my boyfriend) are the only people she knows around here
    4. She has no car
    5. There is no public transportation in this area

    I don't want to desert my friend, but I have to find a happy medium between time with her and alone time with my boyfriend. I'm going to talk to my friend about this, find out what she thinks, if she'd be comfortable, etc. Unfortunately I won't get a chance to talk to her until much later today.

    But in the meantime, how should I break-up the day? Any suggestions? I'd like any suggestions as far as both what to do with/about the boyfriend and how to handle this situation.

    My boyfriend has really been looking forward to our one year. I don't want him to get more upset.

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    [13 Apr 2005|02:51am]

    What does one do when the sexual attractions fade away? Or have been fading away?
    2 comments|post comment

    my boyfriend [12 Apr 2005|01:24am]

    my boyfriend and I have been dating for months. Long before that day came, I've been feeling that the *spark* the *romance* and the *magic* have just disappeared.

    I try to do cute little surprises for him, like bake his favorite dessert; send him cards & letters in the mail, even though he's 8 minutes away, cos he hates getting junk mail all the time; he has a his very own ringtone on my phone; I leave voicemails for him to hear at work and emails for him to read when he gets home, but it never seems to be enough.
    Lately, I haven't been trying quite as hard becos it feels like there is no point. I'm not saying that I don't try at all, becos I do. I just wish he would do something sweet and surprising for me once in awhile, a little more often. I know he loves me, almost to an over-protective level, but acting like that doesn't make me feel appreciated.

    It's gotten to the point where I am drifting apart. I don't feel close to him anymore. When we watch a movie together (which we do every nite), I don't feel "close" to him. We don't have deep talks like we used to. I understand that the "fire" in relationships die down after awhile, but isn't there something that can rekindle it?

    Is there anything I can do to bring the fun and laughter and love back into our lives? I've tried a few different things, looked up ideas online, and taken a couple suggestions. I guess I would just like a few more... suggestions, that is.

    Thank you.
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    should I? [29 Jan 2005|01:08pm]

    [ mood | crushed ]

    Ok so I just joined and maybe someone can help me? I would really like anyones opinion.

    So almost a year ago I went to a graduation party for someone I didn/t know. It was a friend of my dad/s son. So I went because I was almost forced to. Well I didn/t know that my dad/s friends son was really cute and super nice. Oh the wonders of the world. Anyways I talked him a little bit. And he would keep looking over at me and then smiling and looking away. Well as I said that was a year ago and...I can/t stop thinking about him. So recently I have been trying to find an email address online for him. I don/t absolutely have it yet but I may have found someone who can get it for me. I know it probably sounds a little obsessive but I have never thought about someone this much and I/m sorta scared. If I do get the email should I send him something? And what? I have self confidence issues where I don/t think I/m good enough or pretty enough for any guy. I think this may be holding me back but I would still like anyones opinion.


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    Advice??? [31 Dec 2004|05:24pm]
    I need advice. I never ask for advice online, but for some reason I can't bring this subject up with any of my friends or family.

    Over a year ago I went on a vacation with my family and met this guy who was a bit older me (not much, but I was a year under eighteen, and he was a few years over). We had a real connection, and kept in touch a few months after. We talked on the phone, etc. We both live in different states, but did occasionaly talk about visiting one another. He eventually stopped calling, (for reasons unexplained, I guess he might have thought I was too young). I know "the rules" are that girls shouldn't call guys, but I left a message for him over the summer, just to see how he was doing, and he returned the call with another message since I wasn't availiable when he called.I called him back and left another message. So that was like the last time I made contact with him. so I'm finally of an appropriate legal age and I still think about him. I just want to know if should call him, or just let it go. If I call him, I don't want it to come across as being desperate. It's not like I'm putting off dating other guys, for him. I'd just like to talk. So if you guys have any advice, I would appreciate it.
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